Line a rectangular baking tray with parchment paper and set aside.

Place the 36 chocolate sandwich cookies in a food processor and pulse for approximately 30 seconds until they become fine crumbs resembling sand. Transfer the crumbs to a large mixing bowl.

Add the softened cream cheese to the cookie crumbs. Mix with a sturdy spatula or mixer for 1–2 minutes until a thick, smooth dough forms and holds together.

Use a small cookie scoop to divide the mixture into 24 equal portions, approximately walnut-sized. Roll each portion between your palms to form smooth balls.

Arrange the Oreo balls on the prepared parchment-lined tray, leaving a little space between each one. Refrigerate for 30 minutes until firm.

Place the white chocolate melting wafers in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave in 20-second intervals, stirring between each interval, until completely smooth and glossy. This usually takes approximately 1–1.5 minutes.

Melt the red and green candy melts separately using the same 20-second microwave intervals, stirring between each interval until smooth. If either coating is too thick, add 1 teaspoon of coconut oil to thin it. Keep the colors in separate bowls.

Divide the chilled Oreo balls into three batches of 8. Dip the first batch in white chocolate, the second in red candy melts, and the third in green candy melts. Coat each ball evenly, allow excess coating to drip off, and return them to the parchment-lined tray.

Once the coatings begin to set but are still tacky, drizzle contrasting red, green, and white melted chocolate over the Oreo balls. Immediately add Christmas sprinkles and white snowflake sprinkles so they adhere to the coating.

Melt the gold candy melts in a microwave-safe bowl, stirring until smooth. Dip each small pretzel loop partially into the melted gold coating to create a decorative ornament hanger.

Place one partially coated pretzel loop on top of each Oreo ball. Use a little melted gold candy coating to pipe a small ring around the base of each loop to create a decorative ornament cap.

Refrigerate the decorated Oreo balls for an additional 20 minutes until all chocolate coatings and decorations are completely set. Transfer to an airtight container and keep refrigerated until ready to serve.